I Give Up
I give up. I can’t do it anymore. I quit.
Now you are wondering what I am giving up and quitting.
Control! (I wrote about The Illusion of Control).
I have finally gotten to the place in my life where I realize that I have been stressing out over things that I cannot control. All my life I have been one to take control of situations and be strong for everyone around me. I’ve kept the plates spinning. I’ve made things happen. I have tried to please everyone.
But there are some things that are just out of my control. No matter how much I try to fix things they seem to stay broken.
No matter how hard I fight, the battle seems to get tougher.
No matter how much I plan and strategize, things still don’t seem to work out.
And God is using all of the chaos, the pain, the confusion and the lack of control to teach me something.
Rest in His promises, His plans and mostly in His love for me.
If I am to be totally honest there are times that I don’t trust God. Or I should say that I trust my plans more than I trust His. If I have my way, things will happen much faster than God’s timetable. His timing is perfect but sometimes, nay, most of the time God’s time is slow (compared to what we want). Can I get a witness?!?
But His timing is always perfect because He is not just working on me and my life; He is working on others that I will intersect with down the road. God is the master Gamer. He is the master Chess Player. He is the master Strategist.
Sometimes I just have to be reminded of that. Sometimes I don’t like to be reminded of that because I want things to be fixed now.
So, I give up. I had some things happen to me recently that made me realize that when things are beyond your control, and even when they are in your control, it’s best to just lay everything at Jesus’ feet and pray, “In your time”.
God asked me at the end of last year to let go of things (Empty Hands post). It’s taken me all this time to finally come to the realization that I have to let go of things. I have to give up. I have to let go. Things are beyond my efforts and I can’t change things….all I can change is me.
Some days that even seems like a very hard task. But I can give that up too. I can simply quit trying to change what I think needs to be changed and just allow Him to change what needs to be changed in me.
Several years ago I was going through a very difficult season in my life. I was facing things that I didn’t know how to handle. All my life I’ve handled whatever came my way pushing down any emotions I had in order to get through the situation. This time I couldn’t. I was a facing a seemingly insurmountable mountain. I was trying to be strong and hold on but I wasn’t doing well.
I was listening to a worship song while painting the walls of a house I was getting ready to move into. I began to weep due to the stress and pain I was in as the song was ministering to me. I heard the Lord say to my spirit, “Son you don’t have to be strong for me.”
I don’t have to be strong for God. I don’t have to carry anything for Him. I don’t have to bear the weight of a situation to take care of Him. It’s the other way around.
In my weakness He is made strong.
So I can be weak.
I can give up control.
I can let it all go.
I love this song by Catherine Mullins.
As God’s children we can give up and let Him take care of us.