Why Is Trusting God So Hard?
As a child of God, He asks us to simply trust Him to provide for us, guide us and help us through our daily lives. Sometimes, though, this seems very difficult to do.
My wife and I are planning a major move right now from Tennessee to Oklahoma. On one hand, it makes no sense as we have no jobs lined up there, our house needs to sell, and we have no housing lined up there yet as well. We are planning on moving in January. I have already turned in my notice at my job, which means in January I am jobless.
We are moving to take a volunteer position at a church there, to help a pastor friend of mine out. I have prayed for an opportunity to get back into full-time pastoring, which is what I have done the majority of my adult life. This associate position isn’t what I asked God for, and yet, it is what I know God wants us to do.
I am making some major steps of faith here. God has never let me down in the past and yet, I still struggle some days to just rest in His love and care, knowing that somehow, someway He is going to take care of all the details.
I am doing my part. My house is listed, I am applying for jobs, and I am constantly reminding God of our situation. Yes sir, I am doing my part. I am making sure that God doesn’t forget about me struggling through this journey of great unknowns. I am making sure that He knows how short of a time frame we have, how my family needs to eat, how we have bills that need to be paid, and how things need to work out and when they need to work out.
Yep, I am doing my part.
I am sure that’s the problem. It boils down to the fact that when we trust God with our lives we are giving up control. When we tell God that we will follow Him and do anything He asks, we are essentially handing over the reigns and saying I trust you in all areas.
That’s hard for me as I want to be in control. I have trust issues with people, which have caused me to have trust issues with God. Never mind the fact that God has never let me down, that He has always come through for me, that He has always been good to me. But He wants to be in charge, and I do too, and one cannot serve both God and oneself.
Not to mention, I know that God does things in His time and sometimes (well, most of the time it seems) that is never on our timetable. I want the house to be on a contract right now. What if it doesn’t sell by January, then what? God has a plan for that.
What if we have to take pay cuts in our jobs. God has a plan for that.
What if . . . . God has a plan for that.
But, what if . . . . God has a plan for that.
You understand, don’t you? You know, the “What If Game?”
Jesus tells us in Matthew 6 that if we will seek first God’s kingdom and His righteousness then all our material needs will be met. He describes how God cares for the lilies in the fields and the birds of the air. He tells us that we are more important than birds to God. He even tells us that God knows what we need even before we ask. So, I guess I don’t need to remind him so much!
Yet, I still struggle sometimes to trust. I want to see how things are going to work out. I want to know the details. I am like the five-year-old child in the backseat of the car on a trip asking the questions:
How long until we get there?
Are we there yet?
I gotta pee. (OK, so that wasn’t a question but you know it always comes up on a trip, even to the local grocery store).
And like any good, loving, caring parent, I think that God responds by saying, “Can’t you just sit back and enjoy the ride?”
Maybe God is like the parents who tell the children, “Hey, I’ve got a surprise for you, get in the car.” But the children start in with a million questions. Maybe God likes to just surprise us too.
Either way, we are in this process of making a major move. It’s exciting and scary at the same time. It’s what I’ve wanted but not quite. It’s where I know I am supposed to be going, but I am somewhat scared to leave the comfortableness of my familiar surroundings (even though I am miserable where I am).
Does any of this sound familiar to you, or am I the only one that has had to face this? I know I am not because I have read too many stories of others exactly in the same boat I find myself in. But, when you go through something difficult you always feel like you are the only one.
Why is trusting God so hard? Ultimately, I think it all boils down to control. I want to be in control. As I write this, I realize that I even want to control God. I want my prayer time to be about telling him what I need and want, then expecting Him to make it happen. I have gotten upset and angry at Him before because things didn’t turn out like I wanted them to.
Yep, that’s it! I want to say that I am surrendered to God but really sometimes I want God to surrender to me and my wishes.
I don’t believe that will be happening anytime soon!
I am going to work on just sitting back and enjoying the ride (and hope that He will stop along the way so I can go the bathroom).
What about you? Do you find it hard to trust God at times? Comment below and let’s start a conversation.