Have You Ever Felt Burnt By Church?

Have you ever felt scorched—burnt by the very place that was supposed to be safe? Maybe it was the church. Maybe a leader. Maybe religion itself. You gave your all—your faith, your time, your heart—and what you got in return felt more like a furnace than family.

If that’s you, I’m not here to argue with your pain. I’ve been there. I’ve stood in that rubble. And I’ve come out of the smoke still believing that God rebuilds, not with polished bricks, but with burnt stones.

You’re Not Alone. And You’re Not Crazy.

I’ve seen it. Over and over again. People who were used for their gifts and then discarded. People who didn’t “measure up” to leadership expectations and got shamed, silenced, or pushed aside. People who asked honest questions and got labeled “Jezebel” or “Absalom.” That’s not healthy. That’s not kingdom. That’s religious control, and it burns people alive.

Some of you feel like your faith isn’t even your own anymore. Like it got hijacked by a system that only saw you as useful if you were compliant, quiet, and giving.

Let me say it plainly: you're not too sensitive, and you’re not making this stuff up. You're dealing with religious trauma. It’s real, and it runs deep.

God Builds With What Others Throw Away

In Nehemiah 4, the people of God were mocked for trying to rebuild Jerusalem with burnt stones. The enemy laughed—“Will they revive the stones from the heaps of rubble, burned as they are?” But that’s exactly what God does. He rebuilds with what religion left behind.

The church wants shiny bricks. God wants surrendered hearts.

David messed up big. Peter denied Jesus three times. Paul was literally hunting down Christians before Jesus got ahold of him. All burnt stones. And yet, God used them to shape history.

You are not too far gone. You’re not disqualified. You’re the exact kind of material God loves to build with.

Let’s Name What Burned

If you're trying to start again but feel stuck, here’s a place to begin: name what got scorched.

• Was your trust violated?

• Was your voice silenced?

• Was your joy drained?

• Was your faith twisted into performance and fear?

Write it down. Don’t stuff it. Don’t sanitize it. God doesn’t heal what we pretend isn’t broken.

And hear me clearly—Jesus didn’t do this to you. People did. Systems did. Leaders did. The church may represent Jesus, but the church is not Jesus. There’s a difference.

Let’s Talk About Toxic Leadership

I’m a pastor. I love pastors. Most are humble, faithful, and deeply called. But not all. There are leaders out there who are insecure, manipulative, even narcissistic. And some of them have caused real damage.

They turn church into a performance treadmill where you’re constantly trying to earn favor, earn a platform, earn a piece of the “anointing.” That’s not how God works. That’s spiritual abuse. And it creates burnt stones.

You were never meant to serve a man’s vision. You were meant to walk with God.

The System Isn’t the Source

Let me say this clearly: God is not the system. The system is the delivery method—it’s not the source of life. Jesus is.

You don’t need a title, a microphone, or a man’s approval to be anointed. If Christ is in you, you are already anointed. You are already called. You are already chosen.

This idea that questioning a leader equals “touching God’s anointed” is spiritual manipulation. Accountability is not rebellion. Calling out abuse is not division. Speaking truth in love is not a sin.

We’ve got to stop protecting the institution and start protecting people.

So What Now?

Let’s get practical.

1. Name what was burned. Write it down. Get honest with yourself and with God.

2. Separate the church from Jesus. Don’t throw away your faith just because people misused it.

3. Let God rebuild. Not a copy of what was, but something new. Something honest. Something holy.

4. Find your people. Look for community that doesn’t need you to perform—just show up as you are.

5. Refuse to stay rubble. You are a burnt stone, not trash. That means you still matter in God’s building.

You Are Not Abandoned

I’m not here to overpromise you. This road isn’t easy. Healing takes time. Rebuilding will stretch you. But you’re not too far gone, and you haven’t been forgotten by God. What religion broke, Jesus can rebuild.

I’ve lost things I never thought I’d get back. But God has been faithful. He’s rebuilding me. And I believe He wants to rebuild you too—not into what you were, but into who you were meant to be all along.

Join Us

If you're anywhere near West Tennessee and you’re looking for a place that’s real, raw, and rebuilding, we’d love to meet you. Renovatus Church in Dyersburg is a family of burnt stones, misfits, and dreamers learning to walk this thing out together.

We meet Sundays at 6 PM at 118 E Court St, Dyersburg, TN (inside the Community Church building).

You can find out more at www.renovatus.org or reach out through the contact info there. We’d love to hear your story.

If this message spoke to you, share it with someone who’s hurting. Let them know they’re not alone. Let them know they still matter. Burnt doesn’t mean broken beyond repair.

You were created by love, out of love, to be loved—and to love.

Let’s rebuild.