Church Hurt and Walking Away: Finding Hope, Healing, and God’s Direction

Have you ever left a church or ministry leader and wondered if you just walked away from God? Or maybe someone told you that by leaving a church, you were walking away from Him. For many of us, leaving wasn’t rebellion. It was survival.

That’s why I’m writing this series, Burnt Stones: Rebuilding What Religion Broke. Because the truth is, God is not the church building, and leaving a system is not the same as leaving Him.

When the Church and God Get Confused

Some of you have been told that if you walked away from a church, you were walking away from God. Maybe you were accused of having a Jezebel spirit, an Absalom spirit, or whatever label leaders conjured up to keep you in line. Maybe you were told that if you weren’t “under covering,” you were out of order. Or if you questioned the pastor, you were drifting.

Let me be clear: truth is never afraid of being questioned.

I’ve had people come to me and say, “Michael, I think all of this is BS. I don’t even know if I believe anymore.” I don’t freak out. I listen. Because questioning isn’t drifting. Questioning can mean you are growing, or that you are not just going to take someone's word for something.

But far too many leaders point people not to Jesus, but to their interpretation of Scripture—or worse, to their own authority. That’s where church culture becomes toxic.

False Guilt That Keeps People in Bondage

I’ve heard it all:

• “If you leave this church, you’re leaving God’s grace.”

• “If you don’t submit to my authority, your ministry will never succeed.”

• “We’re the only ones preaching the true gospel.”

None of that is biblical. None of that is Jesus.

The New Testament never teaches “spiritual covering” by pastors or apostles. What it teaches is mutual submission (Ephesians 5:21). Leaders can benefit you, yes. But they didn’t call you, anoint you, or save you. God did.

The System Isn’t Sacred—Jesus Is

Here’s the bottom line: Church does not equal God.

Acts 7:48 tells us that “The Most High does not dwell in houses made by human hands.” Yet many churches have elevated the building above the people. We’ve made more rules about protecting the carpet than protecting the congregation. Many Christians see the building as more sacred than the people who meet in the building.

Jesus made it clear to the Samaritan woman in John 4 that worship isn’t about a location, it’s about spirit and truth. Worship is relationship. It’s not just singing, it’s living in step with God.

That means the institution is just a tool, not the temple. We are the temple. And the sad truth is, institutions fail because people fail. But God doesn’t.

Flaws in the System

From where I’ve been—especially in the Charismatic/Prophetic/Apostolic streams—these are some of the system flaws I’ve seen:

• Celebrity pastors. We put leaders on pedestals and excuse their flaws because of their giftings. But gifts don’t equal character.

• Corporate growth metrics. Success is measured by numbers and money instead of love and transformation.

• Performance-based spirituality. Looking the part becomes more important than actually healing and growing.

• Political entanglements. Anytime the church gets in bed with politics, the result is a monstrous child. Our allegiance is to Jesus first, not a party.

The machine isn’t sacred. Relationships are sacred. Our walk with Jesus is sacred.

Reframing Deconstruction

If you’re deconstructing right now, don’t destroy your faith in the process. Deconstruction isn’t about tearing down God—it’s about tearing down what was never Him in the first place.

Here’s the goal:

• Don’t destroy faith, remove what doesn’t look like Jesus.

• Don’t destroy trust, remove what was built around man.

• Make space for something real.

You’re not walking away from God—you’re walking away from what blocked your view of Him.

Where to Find God After Leaving

If you’ve left a church, ministry, or an institution, hear me: God is still near.

• He can be found in silence, not just noise.

• He can be found in relationships, not hierarchies.

• He can be found in healing conversations, not shame-based sermons.

You may need a wilderness season, and that’s okay. Jesus Himself walked away from the religious system of His day to establish His Kingdom. He still shows up outside the walls of organized religion.

So don’t confuse the meeting place with the One you came to meet. Don’t confuse the gift with the Giver. And don’t mistake walking away from a broken system as walking away from God.

A Question for You

What part of church culture were you told was “God,” but later realized was man-made?

This week, I challenge you: ask God to meet you outside the building. In nature. In silence. In friendship. In the small places where no one is trying to control you.

Because God is not the church building. He is with you. Always.