Prayer Forms Us, part 1

The way we engage in prayer profoundly shapes who we are. Prayer is not just a practice; it’s a transformative journey. When I first encountered this idea from Brian Zahnd, who says that "praying properly forms us", it resonated deeply, although I didn’t fully understand its significance at the time. Growing up in the Charismatic branch of Christianity, I learned to see prayer primarily as a means of asking God for help or confidently declaring what I believed God wanted to happen. There was a strong assumption that we knew God’s desires perfectly, leading us to believe that if we simply decreed something, it had to come to pass.

Yet, despite our many “decrees and declarations,” change often felt elusive. To be very transparent, for all the "decrees and declarations" we made, we didn't see much change in the areas concerning our "decrees and declarations". The issue wasn’t that prayer lacked power; rather, we had a misunderstanding of its purpose. We were focused on trying to “form things” instead of allowing God to “form us.”

For many, prayer is a way to remind God of what He might have overlooked, as if He were waiting for our prompt to act. We sometime approach it as a performance, thinking our sincerity could sway Him, as if He were stuck, waiting for our intervention to do what He desired.

Too often, prayer feels burdensome—like a task rather than a gift. Others find it shrouded in mystery, unsure of how or what to pray for. Prayer can easily become a quick moment in our day, merely a checklist item. It’s no wonder church prayer meetings often lack attendance, if a church has them at all.

But what if we viewed prayer differently? I know I’ve made it more complicated than it needs to be. As I’ve learned to see God as a loving Father instead of a distant judge, my prayer life has transformed. It has become simpler, a genuine conversation between a child and a parent.

In many cases, prayer resembles a monologue, where we present God with our lists of needs—healings, job opportunities, blessings for loved ones, and so on. But prayer should be a dialogue; our Father longs to speak back to us. It’s a heart-to-heart exchange between a cherished child and a loving Father.

Jesus Prayed!

Consider this: Jesus prayed. Throughout the Gospels, we see Him carve out time to connect with the Father. Why, as the Son of God, would He need to pray? It wasn’t about listing requests; it was about intimacy. Jesus said, “I only do what I see the Father doing.” He was in tune with His Father through prayer.

If Jesus prayed, how much more should we embrace this vital practice? When His disciples sought guidance on how to pray, Jesus offered them “The Lord’s Prayer.” This model invites us to be shaped into trusting children who come before a loving Father.

At its core, prayer involves trust. When we make requests, we inherently trust that the one we’re asking has the ability to respond. This trust—what some might call faith—is essential in our conversations with the Father.

Here are three foundational truths about prayer that can guide us:

1. God is Love.

God doesn’t just love; He is love. His very essence defines what love truly is. Because He is love, we can rest assured that nothing can separate us from His embrace. When you speak to the Father, remember: you are talking to someone who loves you unconditionally and who has no ulterior motives in answering your prayers. There is nothing that you can do to change the fact that God loves you. A podcast I listen to regularly always ends with this: "you are loved and there is nothing you can do about it."

2. God is Good, Always.

God is consistently good—His goodness never wavers. It’s out of this goodness that He blesses us and guides us, even through discipline. Trust in His goodness as you pray, knowing He desires the best for your life and will work all things together for your good. While you may not (and most likely won't) get everything you pray for exactly as you have prayed for it, you can be assured that in whatever God is doing in your life it will be good.

3. God Always Has Your Back.

God’s faithfulness is unwavering, even when life gets tough. He doesn’t promise to shield us from all hardships, but He does promise His presence through them. You can rest assured that He is holding your life securely and is at work in ways you may not see. Our Father experiences what we experience and meets us at the deepest and darkest places of our lives. As my friend Dan Thomas says, “God is doing more behind your back than you can see in front of you.”

These three pillars of trust will shape your prayer life. When you embrace these truths, you’ll not only trust that God hears your prayers, but you’ll also find confidence in His responses. A loving parent may not always grant every request, but they will always provide what their child truly needs.

With these foundational truths in mind, we’ll explore “The Lord’s Prayer” in our next post, learning how to pray in a way that aligns our hearts with the Father’s and forms us. Let’s embark on this journey of transformation together!